Check it out, Cornelia Frances writes books! How deadly is that? I bet the lads that robbed her laptop were H&A fans.

Also, she’s not leaving the show anytime soon. High five!

Home and Away is secretly a bit holy; did you see Irene proclaiming that Belle isn’t really gone, and Flashback Belle talking about “moving on”?

Speaking of Belle, jaysis she had it all figured out. She handed out all of her worldly belongings to her mates, then drifted off. She told Nicole to look after Aden in any way she could, which seemed to be an invite for them to take it to the next level (again). Aden didn’t feel like it straight after the funeral, though.

If you “just want the pain to stop”, like Nicole, the one person you should not tell is Liam Murphy. He has a car full of drugs and nothing else to do, by the look of it. Nicole loves a bit of trouble, but at least she has flirty doc Sid to keep an eye out for her.

Check it out – the vast majority of ye have been watching Home and Away since the original Tom and Pippa were knocking about. That’s loyalty. Sally was only a nipper then and Milco was just an imaginary friend.

Home and Away has outlasted Glenroe, El Dorado and the Sopranos. What’s it got that they don’t? Well, they didn’t have Morag, for one.

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We are away for a wee while, so we decided to leave this post open and hopefully you’ll tell us what’s going on. It would be very handy to return to. Thanks! You’re very good.

It’s a badly-kept secret that Irene feels a great affinity with our fair isle. So we decided to celebrate it in t-shirt form. Now you can pray along with Irene, or just show your support for eh, her support.

Apparently the phrase “God save Ireland” comes from a rebel song. Home and Away is so educational.

So, Belle is a goner. She only got married last week, yesterday she was swimming and today, she’s kaput. That was the fastest non-accidental demise ever.

Still and all when it came to it, it was touching, and nice that Belle got to go home to Irene’s. I half expected Aden to climb out the window the next morning. Earlier in the episode there was loads of messing with Liam Murphy trying to make amends, and Amanda trying to hospitalise Belle. Sound Doctor Sid sorted her out by calling Rachel in. I’m not really sure what Rachel did, but it worked.

Belle is not long for this world. It’s funny though as she seemed grand last week. Her decline started from the minute that she told people about her illness. Now she can barely stand up on her own and is getting sick on Aden. Of course her condition isn’t a laughing matter but the rapidity of it’s progress is typical of the Summer Bay time warping effect.

Poor Charlie, she’s had a rough trot of it. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t/can’t show emotion AT ALL; she’s afraid it’ll all coming pouring out if she does. She confessed (nearly) all to Angelo and now he’s happy enough to be her boyfriend again. He’s mad for an honest woman, that fella.

Kirsty invited her uni mates over for a piss-up/study session. Miles was eating when they arrived and told them he went to one lecture while at uni. Rebel He soon blew his cool facade, though, when he kicked them out for being rowdy.

Morag is adamant she’s staying in the Bay for a while. You’d think she’d run it past Leah seeing as all the Bucktons now live chez Baker-Patterson.

Jane is after Rachel’s babog; she reckons Rachel is too crap a ma to handle Harry. She could be right there.

Rachel is a pain in the hoop. You’d think she’d be delighted to have the negligence case sorted, but no, she just looked annoyed that she had nothing to moan about. Then Tony brought Harry to the diner to introduce him to Auntie Colleen, and Rachel nearly lost her reason. She’d want to watch herself or topless Tony (did you see that?) will be packing Harry up for good.

Martha is certainly acting like a happy spa these days. Better that than weepy and confused I suppose.

Those were crafty tactics by Morag, using Ross’s Alzheimer’s to try to get to the bottom of the baby mystery. But Charlie had a trick up her sleeve as well, saying her baby had died when in fact she was sitting opposite with a gaping mouth that would catch all the flies in Oz. I suppose it’s her cop training that allows her to think so quickly, but Jack would never have thought of that.

Poor Charlie all the same, it looks like her journey to the next level wasn’t as consensual as most.

…Geoff’s leaving the Bay! Nicole is going to go on a bender when she hears about this.