Indi and Romeo are absolute disgraces. They briefly spoke about ending their marriage, then went off pashing/next-level-ing with other people. I am glad they were so invested in their marriage that they could abandon it at the drop of a hat. TUT TUT.

Ruby declared her love for Romeo, but luckily he was too locked to hear her.

Dr. Sid made a great growling noise when he met Logan.

Gina got to the bottom of the Henri-Casey alliance, with the help of Veej. Henri is so stupid. Could she not have waited two months until Casey’s exams were over? She could hardly have expected him to have any sense, he’s a River Relative!

Ooh Heath is taking the Rockstars to court over baby access rights. Does this mean more Morag? please yes.

Casey is moping about with his broken heart. Veej saw he and Henri pashing ooooh. Madge Wilkins will know in no time.

Here’s Sinead from RTE Twotube recreating a classic Home and Away scene between Sally and Cassie.

Well, Bianca grew a baby bump overnight, decided to leave town, Liam quit his job, and Heath felt the baby kick. How many times has Liam caught Bianca and Heath together? He got mad and basically admitted he doesn’t want the baby. In fairness, who wants to raise a River Baby? They’d be permanently topless, and always causing fights. Your house and head would be wrecked.

Bianca and April are sly hos. Bianca ran straight to Irene when she was upset, but when Irene had cancer, she basically ignored her. April had no interest in Dex till he found a new buddy. HOS.

P.S. How come Bianca never speaks Italian anymore?

P.P.S. Liam Murphy has some neck telling Leah to clear out of her own house for the evening.

Roo has realised that Harvey may not be perfect but he’s the right man for her. She’s made her peace with his secret family and wants to meet his ex and daughter Lottie.  They went on a picnic with a hamper and Lottie asked them many awkward questions. Then they went to the diner and Harvey tried to buy off his daughter with an iPhone 4.

The Lottie actress is Indi’s real life sister and had a similar acting style and delivery. I wonder if her outfits will be as interesting as her sister’s?

Heath attempted to use logic on Bianca. He said everything is wrong with her marriage to Liam, even the fact that the baby is Heath’s. Then he put the moves on her but she legged it. Liam suggested they leave town and go on the road, leaving their jobs and everything behind. He’s a practical man. Liam quit his job and Bianca is going along with life on the road.

Poor Dex is wallowing in his single status. None of the nurses he works with want to date him so he’s spending his days playing chess with Sid. His dad offered to go halves with him on a car as Dex reckons a set of wheels is the key to babes. How will Dex get his side of the money? His get rich quick scheme to raise cash involves challenging the diner patrons to chess for money. It’s a novel approach.  e’s like a pool hustler with a chess set. He beat John Palmer and Marilyn but the latter didn’t present much of a challenge. Then young Lottie showed him how it’s done in a Kasparov vs Deep Blue moment. Poor Dex was schooled and lost all of his winnings. He’s back to the drawing board with making money but has made a new geeky friend.

So very proud of @LukeMitchell__ & @BecEBreeds announcing their engagement. Romeo is off the market ladies ! #ShireWedding #MrFroddo

— Dan Ewing (@_DanEwing) May 14, 2012

That was a Heath-centric episode. He snitched on Casey and Henri, then told Bianca to leave Liam and be with him. She may as well, because Liam is never going to come to terms with the River Baby.

Poor Darcy is very excited about the baby. She’s had a tough life so far.

Casey and Henri covered up their love affair, and fooled Gina. They live to ride another day.

Turns out doctor-loving, riding-while-dying Kim Hyde aka Thor has an equally handsome and successful film-star brother.

I expect Home and Away: The Movie any day now.

Dex found two college mates who gave him girlfriend advice when they saw April’s name on his copy. They said he didn’t have a chance of getting her back due to his nice guy image. He needed their help in the form of a bad boy makeover. They all went to the bar for shots and lessons in being elusive. Can’t see it ending well. If this works, April is a simpleton. Maybe he’ll take it to heart and join the river boys.

Poor Felix is a desperate actor. Fair play to Sasha, she didn’t desert her brother or forget about him, unlike Xavier and Brendan. Her plan to live with Felix in the city didn’t work out and she came back to the farm.

Henri is going to take a job at the school, but has a lot to consider, not least her affair with Casey. I can see the doo-doo hitting the fan before long. Casey has very bad timing with his text messages. They’ll have to take a break until after his exams. Casey will go off the rails before long I’d say. Maybe he’ll threaten to leave school again.

Haha Dex loves April and sees her as some kind of hair-tossing goddess. He was eyeing her up at Sasha’s 16th birthday party. Aww cute.

Sasha thought, now that she’s 16, she could take off to the Citee, and become a hairdresser, with Felix in tow. Sid put her straight. So she snuck out after dark.

Romeo and Indi are boring and possibly breaking up.

Brax’s intimidation of Steve got Ruby off the drug charge. So Morag’s off. I would like a Morag and Brax spin-off crimefighting show – “she’s above the law, he’s below it, together they are…”.