Sexy central

July 26th, 2010 by Ailsa

Please play this music while reading this post:

So, Doctor Sid is really back in da house.  He valiantly tried and failed to save the life of a young mother, and all of a sudden the nurses love him.  One even slinked up to his house and basically offered herself to him on a plate.  Oh Doctor!

There’s a new moron in town.  French girl’s sister rocked up to Summer Bay on a scooter, in a ballgown.  She paused briefly somewhere to remove her helmet, shake out her long blonde hair, and put her helmet on again.  Sexy.

She flew directly to the Bay from Milan, bringing only her scooter as hand luggage.  Some dastardly Italian had cheated on her, so she ran from their engagement party straight back to Oz.  Good call.  Liam’s already interested.  I hope she looks as well in jeans and a tshirt.

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Essential objects of cultural significance: Home and Away

July 23rd, 2010 by Ailsa

Intrepid reader Saul sent me this.  Isn’t it amazing?
I think my favourite item is the stoned crow.

Who was Rory?

Items of cultural significance: Home and Away

From http://turbomonthly.blogspot.com/

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Prisoner Cell Block Summer Bay

July 20th, 2010 by Ailsa

Ah here, Colleen behind bars?  I don’t think I can take it.  It’s like the saddest bits of Prisoner Cell Block H.  He used to give me roses…

And as for Xavier and his moping about John Palmer moving in, EFF OFF!

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A creepy wooden demon who doesn’t deserve to see the light of day

July 19th, 2010 by Ailsa

Home and Away is returning into Chuckie Down Under.  Mr. Oddley rose from the grave that Alf dug for him in the caravan park.  Miles thinks someone is “having a lend of” him.  That is one of my favourite phrases ever.

“Bon voyage you little mongrel” said Alf as he threw Mr. Oddley into Summer Bay’s deep waters.  But the doll submerged through the magic of the washing machine, where Alf found him spinning.

Dr. Sid and Tony are best buds now because Sid stuck up for girl’s boxing in front of Rachel.  Sid better watch out, she’s an annoying enemy to make.

Penn is robbing stuff from the caravan park and roundabouts and framing Colleen. What does he have against her?

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Mr Oddley

July 15th, 2010 by Ailsa

What a mad episode.  Marilyn introduced her ventriloquist’s dummy, Mr. Oddley, to Alf, who had a flashback to when he was five and a puppet scared the bejaysus out of him.  Young Alf said “strike me roan” and ran into the arms of his father, who happened to be the mirror image of current Alf.  Also, Morag was a little ginger girl who was dressed as a witch – very subtle, Home and Away scriptwriters!

Angelo took a settlement outside of court and as a consequence, he’ll never work as a cop again.  He’ll just be Mr. Risotto from now on.  Serves him right anyway, for letting a known criminal escape.  To mark the occasion, he got locked, lit a bonfire on the beach, and burned his uniform.  He also burned his underwear for some reason.  Was he wearing police underwear?

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Meddling ma

July 13th, 2010 by Ailsa

Elijah’s mam is a right dose.  Now she’s telling Leah that Elijah wouldn’t be able for all marriage would throw at him.  Eh, he’s a MINISTER.  Doesn’t he listen to problems every day?  Oh, it’s a masterstroke.  No doubt Leah will think she’s right for five minutes, then rebel against her.

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Dexter 2.0

July 9th, 2010 by Flathead

Why do we need a new Dexter?  Maybe the producers didn’t like the previous actor who played Dexter.  Fair enough if that’s the case or if he wasn’t available.  But it seems that not only have they given us a new actor, but they’ve also given him a personality transplant.  His mock Attenbourgh nature documentary was pretty annoying.  Sid and Indigo would have been well within their rights to leave him in the bush when their car broke down.  He may not survive too long in the bay in anyways.  Boring or annoying young chaps often get written out pretty quick ala Henry going off to tap dancing school, Jai leaving for Japan and Lucas fecking off to a writing course after Tony shagged his teacher.  I give it six months before Dexter leaves to get a job as a jockey in the Melbourne cup.

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Let me be the one…the great Home and Away theme song tribute collection

July 9th, 2010 by Ailsa

The H&A theme song is one of those instantly recognisable ditties that will stand the test of time.  But which is your favourite version?  I thought mine was the Robertson Brothers’ effort, until I came across these little gems.  Which would you vote for? Personally, I think they’re all inspired.

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Guess who’s back?

July 8th, 2010 by Flathead

The Walkers, that’s who.  Sid, Indigo and Dexter have returned to the bay.  What effect is that going to have on poor Nicole?  Sure she has no end of older men to lust after between the good doctor and the mysterious Penn.  Ruby is trying to follow Nicole’s example with her own older man obsession.  Liam is the object of her affections despite the fact that he’s made it clear he has no interest in her and wants to keep his job.  Nice to see somebody in the show act sensibly and use their brain.  With those kind of instincts Liam will be made principal in the nest few days, given Summer Bay timescales.  From bad boy rocker to small town school principal in 12 months or less.

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Great birthday present

July 7th, 2010 by Ailsa

home and away weddingshome and away weddings

Unbelieveable.  Kate Ritchie introducing the Summer Bay weddings of the past.  We had a pregnant (with Martha?) Roo running out on Frank, Alf and Ailsa slying off to become man and wife, and Angel miraculously rising from her wheelchair to walk down the aisle.  Not to mention Don and Marilyn’s nuptials, and Hayley’s ghost dad giving her away.  Hayley was always seeing ghosts.  Do yis want a lend?

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